With all the changes that have been going on in my life lately I have had so many brain malfunctions lately I don’t know if I need to go lay on a fancy couch in a psychologists office, sleep for ten days after tequila shots or just punch someone. In general, I am usually a very organized, well put-together semi-young woman. I have always kept a desk calendar, a planner in my oversized purse and reminders in my phone. I tend to have undiagnosed, adult ADD with some mild anxiety. So yes, it takes all of that for me to maintain. I’m frantic when it comes to being punctual and upcoming deadlines give me anxiety. I went from working 6.5 years straight full-time and knowing what my life would be everyday to becoming unemployed (only lasted three days) to working as a PRN therapist, setting my own schedule and relying on my planner like I do on my Bible. With that being said let me just tell y’all about the cluster-fuck this week itself has been:
I started off with having scheduled my work week for Tuesday and Thursday. I picked up a Wednesday afternoon later on and was feeling good about the dates filling up on my month. As I’m planning my week I realize on Sunday afternoon that my son is out of school for two days (Monday and Tuesday) and that he also has football and soccer practice this week. Practice I knew about but Fall Break!? Nobody told me about this. Luckily, I’m PRN and his granny always has her shit together so we were back on track. Only on Tuesday as I’m frantically trying to get home and get my kid ready for football practice I remember his cleats are at his dads house. I text him for the cleats to which he replies, “He has practice today, too?” I then go to my planner and texts from coach and realize that he does have Practice today but not really. I was missed a day because it was actually Wednesday and he had missed practice for the week.
Secondly, when applying for my licensure out of state I paid for the wrong thing. My friend helped me through it. I thought surely my second grader could have done this. I had paid for something I didn’t need and had to pay all over again for what I did need. Now I know this was not “that big of a deal” but umm, when its piling on I thought surely this is it! What the hell else could happen now. I was out $160. I thought to myself, “Okay I think I can cry now and not feel dramatic about this at all.”
As recently unemployed, 29 year-old college student, mom, sister, daughter and girlfriend everything around me was crashing down. I’ve always been in control of everything around me and all of a sudden I was losing my bearings. I posted a meme of an “I Can’t” on my social media partly because I thought it was funny and partly because I felt like the pink shirt girl in the meme; lying in the floor, face down. I didn’t need to caption it. Quickly, friends and my sister (the crazy little sister) came to my emotional rescue. Basically to say, get your ass up, fix your face and your crown and just handle the shit. They reminded me that I can in fact do it and that I better never forget it. Also my dad did tell me “If you cry, I’ll beat your ass” so I laughed harder than I should have with a little snort and definitely did not cry. Love is advice.
So, with that being said here are my reflections for the week:
Lessons Not Losses:
- When life changes we cannot undo what is done; get up and keep going for what you’re after
- NOBODY has it under control all the time
- Focus your energy on the good shit and let that negativity go
- Your thoughts are your super powers; use them to create the life you want
- Change your mindset to change your life
- Wednesday is sometimes Tuesday, shit happens
- Self-affirmations do make a difference
- What you put out into the universe you most surely get it back, watch what vibes you throwing out there
- Whiskey and wine (or whine) sometimes
- If your friends don’t lift you up get new ones