Forever, be my baby

I’m curled up on the couch with my now one year old. It seems like yesterday I was crying in the doctors office because they couldn’t induce me. I mean I was over 40 weeks pregnant, my mama was in town and had to leave soon, I was miserable. I wanted him out. Needless to say they wouldn’t induce me, I cried some more and my fiancé took me to get a giant cupcake to make me feel better. Looking down at him now I wouldn’t change a thing. His face is perfect, his eyes are perfect, his toes, his fingers, his curls, and his attitude are all perfect.

My 9 year old was born only two days late. I was 40 weeks pregnant in the doctors office and not even one centimeter dilated. Again I was miserable. My epidural worked like a charm. At 3:10pm my first born arrived with my mom and his father right by my side. He was a wonderful baby. He only cried when he was hungry or wet and really slept quite well otherwise. Now he’s running in and out of my house letting all my good, cool AC air out for the neighbors to enjoy as well. He’s a sweet and kind young man. In fact he’s so kind he loves to give his friends all his snacks and then complain when they run out. Looking at his sun kissed face right now I wouldn’t change a thing. His face is perfect. His eyes are perfect. His laughter is perfect. His smile is perfect. And when he says, “I love you, mama!” it’s absolutely perfect.

And the baby I didn’t give birth to, my sweet little step-daughter. I don’t know her birth story, and I don’t need to know it to love her the same. I met her at three years old. I remember the first day she called me Ms. Millie my heart skipped a beat. My girl loves cucumbers with ranch dressing and she loves corn on the cob. Her personality fills a room. She loves singing and dancing and she might like eating just as much as I do. She’s a sweet and sassy combo. She really is sugar and spice and everything nice. Baby girl has perfect eyes. Perfect curls hair. Her smile is perfect. Her sassiness is perfect. My baby girl, is perfect.

Now that I have children of my own I understand what “time flies” really means. It seems that every time I blink my eyes they’re growing taller. Another birthday comes and another grade passes. Their voices change and faces lose that baby plumpness. As much as I love to watch them grow I miss when they were babies. I miss the nights they crawled into bed scared of the rain or darkness. I miss how much they needed me. I want to hold on to all the moments as tightly as possible and love them as hard as I can.

Although they are getting older and they don’t like to be called baby, forever they will be my baby’s. I’ll always see those chubby cheeks and cute little toes. This mama will forever be smitten by these kiddos. I will not take this time for granted. I will pour my all into them. I will give them love when they need it most. When they fall, mama will pick them up. I’ll be there for them before they even think to ask. Forever their mama, I will be.

Now, let me go cry!

2 thoughts on “Forever, be my baby”

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